How to Avoid the “Interview Effect” on a Date: A Throwback Dating Tip

Guys, let’s be real—when you get back on the dating scene after a divorce or losing a partner, it can feel like stepping into a whole new world. The rules have changed since you last dated. If you're feeling a little rusty, you're not alone.

Whether you’re dating over 50 as a man or exploring dating over 60, it’s normal to feel unsure about how to navigate modern dating dynamics. 

And one of the most common pitfalls? The “interview effect.”

Here’s what that looks like: You’re on a date, and she’s doing most of the talking… asking all of the questions.

You might walk away thinking, “That went well!”—meanwhile, she left feeling like she just interviewed you, and that you didn’t really care to get to know her.

That may not have been your intention, but when a man doesn’t ask questions or show curiosity, it can leave a woman feeling like he wasn’t genuinely interested in getting to know her.

So, what’s going on here?

It’s not about being a bad conversationalist. You may have just been nervous, unsure of what to ask, or simply so focused on making a good impression that you forgot to be curious.

And that’s the key word—curiosity.

1. Show Interest, Not Just Intent

Women want to feel seen and understood, not just assessed for compatibility. When you ask her thoughtful questions, it shows that you’re engaged, present, and genuinely interested in who she is—not just what she brings to the table.

Think about questions that go deeper than “What do you do for a living?” Try asking:

• What lights you up these days?

• How do you like to spend your weekends?

• What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?
  

If you're looking for real dating over 60 advice, it starts with connection—building it, nurturing it, and showing that you care enough to be curious.

2. Remember, It’s a Two-Way Street

Yes, it’s natural to want to share about yourself (and you should), but don’t forget to give her the floor too. The best dates feel like a ping-pong match—back and forth, light and fun, with curiosity on both sides.

If she gently says something like,
“I love learning more about you… is there anything you’d like to know about me?”
—that’s her way of saying she’s hoping for more balance in the conversation. Take that as an opportunity, not a criticism.

3. Be the Guy Who Gets It

Most women aren’t expecting perfection. They just want to feel a connection. And when you show up with attentiveness, good energy, and a willingness to learn, that’s what makes you stand out.

So next time you’re on a date, remember:
Ask questions. Be curious. Lean in.

Because dating isn’t a performance—it’s a conversation. And the best conversations happen when two people are equally invested in discovering each other.

If you’re a man dating over 50 or seeking guidance for dating over 60, know this: you don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be present.

You’ve got this.

❤️ Megan